she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
