He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Someone shattered a urinal.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He has the fingertips of a God
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