Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
