After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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