I feel great
I just peed on a car
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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