i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
