So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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