Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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