@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
