Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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