im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
