I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
