Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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