Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
