I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
