I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
