so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
