Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
