if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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