so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
