3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
