and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Watching her eat just hurts me
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
