She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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