May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
