I hate all girls vehemently.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
