I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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