Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
