Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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