Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
