does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
