Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
