I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
