In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm both gender and math confused
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
