Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
