I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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