So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
