did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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