Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
