I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
