So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
