physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
