Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
