Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
