Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
