bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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