i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
