Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
