Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
