the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It's just like the Real World with babies
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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