I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
