Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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