your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
