summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
