Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
