He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
